Ladies and gentlemen. You're going to hear a lot more things today. A lot of things that are going to befuddle you, possibly disinterring long buried emotions and dreams, hazily reflected in shadow on a cave wall by a fire with a bone. A lot of things that we all wish we were able to put behind us. Leave behind in the past, violent artifacts of a tortured past; mankind's dark secrets. But the past is not through with us.
<the barrister pauses, lifts his arms up from his sides and wiggles his fingers. "Spoooooooky" he whispers>
The fact is that we all thought we moved beyond this. In this exciting new age of Internet and cloud, and being anonymously racist, tools for communication to bring us closer to each other, we can still be shocked, as we are shocked now, by what occurred on the evening of November 9th.
You're going to hear a lot of things from the district attorney, Mr. Fact over there, about what was done to Ms. Understanding in that screed on the web, lifted from the scrap bin of a twilight zone episode from so many years ago. And your going to hear a lot from the assistant DA Mr. Roundhole, about what was done with that ham handed attempt at irony, allegedly by my client, God.
At this point Mr. Fence waves his hand towards the defendant who is sitting in the box. God is a quiet and taciturn lump of a man, restrained by his own insecurities. His hair has retreated upward and dark circles under his eyes betray his lack of interest in washing up first thing in the morning. Your god clears his throat and then swallows whatever came up so as not to be too much trouble.
You see ladies and gentlemen, my client, God, is innocent of these crimes. He stands here, accused of nothing, but STILL he laments his half formed attempt at sub creation. innocent. It all seemed so much truer when it was conceived in the night, in that slow light of insight and gently farting in the bed. So many things come out!
The defendant yawns and the reek of donuts fills the room.
Basically, something about advancement and technology and blaming the radio and frozen food technology for man's troubles. His fall, if you will.
A horse fell in the street yesterday and everyone went on Twitter to say that horses don't belong in cities, that it's cruel, and that this dead horse was something lost that would never be regained.
But the horse wasn't dead and the only ones who fell was US. Just like the bible.
You see ladies and gentlemen, my client mr. God is innocent. There is a story there somewhere. Probably, the judge should have said more funny things. Witty interjections and ohnohedidnts. Lessons for the children. Anyway folks, Mr. God is ... The Electro Man.
No one is paying attention because of a kitty gif. Some woman on Bravo tweets that this is a nice purse. It is your move on words with friends. Help Eve beat this level of candy crush. Do you know this simple trick to save $$$$ on your mortgage? Student loans! Penis. Kansas City 14, Miami 7. Woman says she was hung up like a fish. Debt ceiling. Dads. Obamacare. People are dying every day. All the time. Right now. Cancer. Scary space squid. Electro Man.
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